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Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
What… is your quest?
Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean?
- Camelot!
- Burn her!
- We want a shrubbery!!
- Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!
I’m not dead!
Why? Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! We want a shrubbery!!
Bridgekeeper
Burn her! On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. I’m not a witch.
- On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.
- Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Help, help, I’m being repressed!
Where’d you get the coconuts? And the hat. She’s a witch! On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! How do you know she is a witch?
What… is your quest?
…Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. Burn her anyway!
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Inspiration
OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
The Cyber House Rules
Ummm…to eBay? Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
- I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
- I’m Santa Claus!
- Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.
Xmas Story
With gusto. Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!
Attack of the Killer App
But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!
- Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
- Meh.
- If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right.
In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela
Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Ooh, name it after me! Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences
Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! I never loved you.
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Inspiration
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
Natural Born Kissers
A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?
- The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…
- Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO!
Life on the Fast Lane
Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO! Inflammable means flammable? What a country.
Selma’s Choice
“Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
- I didn’t get rich by signing checks.
- Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work.
- Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.
Rosebud
Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
Cape Feare
Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
